Have you ever clenched your fist so tightly, fearful that opening your hands would result in your loosing all that is dear to you? What if the person asking you to open your hands and let go had been Jesus Christ? How would you have reacted?
Well, I've had my fair share of "Open My Clenched Fist" experiences. Here is one episode of my refusing to hand over what appears, today, to be a silly item.
A Beautiful Prayer by Henri Nouwen
Before sharing that episode, here is a beautiful prayer that I think we can all use at some point in our lives:
Dear God,
I am so afraid to open my clenched fist!
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to? Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands?
Please help me to gradually open my hands and to discover that I am not what I own, but what you want to give to me.
And what you want to give me is love – unconditional, everlasting love.
Amen.
A Time When I Stubbornly Refused to Open My Clenched Fist
I remember a day of recollection which I attended many years ago, at a local church on a Saturday afternoon. I was then an extremely ambitious young professional, working very hard to climb the corporate ladder.
During one of the sessions, we were led through a contemplative exercise where we imagined Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd, knocking at our door. As we opened the door, Jesus asked us gently, if we could give him all our possessions.
Surprisingly, I was willing to give Him everything; well, everything except one. I was willing to give Him my handbag and all its contents. I was willing to hand over the emergency briefcase which contained all my important documents. I was willing to give Him all the contents in the room, including the personal project that I was working on at that time, and which laid opened on the table.
Shockingly, the one thing on that table, which I refused to let go, was my diary. A diary? WHY? At that time, I did not know the reason. While the rest were sharing their experiences about the exercise, my mind was busy wondering why the diary, of all things? By the end of that day, I was feeling rather disturbed because I could not understand why I was clinging to it.
Several day passed before I finally had an insight on why the diary. Since that day of recollection, the exercise experience and the diary had constantly been on my mind. In one of my personal evening prayer sessions, it suddenly occurred to me, that it wasn't the diary itself that I was clinging on to. Rather, it was my plans that I had recorded in that diary that had led me to refuse to open my clenched fist to Jesus. A section of the diary had a personal planner, and I had recorded my plans in it.
While I was glad to discover my reason for clinging to that diary, this insight also shook me to the core. It opened my eyes to two things about myself that I had been blinded to:
It showed me how shallow my faith was. How bold was I to think that my plans were superior than that which God has for me?
It is stated clearly in Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope."
It made me realize how naive I was to think that I have full control of my life.
James 4:13-14 warns us against being presumptuous, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we shall go into such and such a town, spend a year there doing business, and make a profit' - you have no idea what your life would be like tomorrow."
It is perfectly alright to make plans for our lives, but we must be ready to let God be a part of it. Better still, we should allow Him to take control of it. When I reflected on years gone by, I realized that there were times when my plans had turned out well, only for me to realize that it wasn't necessarily good for me. We must be humble and open to working in partnership with Jesus in everything we do, including when executing our plans.
It'll be foolish to shut God out of our plans. After all, God loves us unconditionally, and "He is the Lord. He will do what he judges best." 1 Samuel 4:18.
How Has Letting Go Helped You?
So as you pray this beautiful prayer by Henri Nouwen:
- List the things you've let go during the last 12 months;
- How has each of these positively impacted your life?
- Which is the most important and why??
Share your experience in the comments below.